"Be Friends with Suffering"
Be Friends with Suffering by Catherine is an honest, deeply personal account of her last decade, split between the UK and Hong Kong, as she navigates single parenthood and chases her dream of becoming a pilot.
Catherine's story begins with her arrival in England as a nine-year-old overseas student, and unfolds through the years that followed—becoming a mother whilst still at university, finding the strength to leave an unhealthy relationship, and building a career in private banking while raising her daughter in the bustle of Hong Kong. Along the way, she earned a place on a pilot training programme with a major airline, only to face obstacles that prevented her from completing it, all whilst adapting to life in a modern blended family.
The book doesn't shy away from the harder moments: the reality of making ends meet as a working parent in one of the world's most expensive cities, landing a promising job and then losing it after taking time off to grieve her brother's death by suicide. What she discovered was that mourning him was only the beginning—it opened the door to deeper reflections on the challenges and quiet victories of the past ten years. With candour and vulnerability, Catherine also explores her journey with mental health and sexuality, tackling topics that are often left unspoken yet resonate deeply with so many.
This is a space for honest reflections on trauma, healing, ambition, and unexpected laughter—written for anyone weathering their own life transitions, as a reminder that you're not walking that path alone. I'm currently in counselling and sharing thoughts as they come, with no fixed timeline for a book.
Why "Be Friends With Suffering"? What is Suffering?
In Buddhism, there are eight kinds of suffering. The first four relate to our physical existence: birth, aging, illness, and death. The remaining four are mental and beyond our control: separation from loved ones, conflict with others, unfulfilled desires, and the five aggregates of body and mind. Emotional pain stemming from trauma is also a form of suffering—those unwanted feelings that surface at the most inconvenient moments. Yet to heal means learning to accept and befriend these emotions, whatever they may be.
Along the way, I'm learning to acknowledge and accept my emotions while recognizing that I am an individual, and these feelings are separate from me. Since I began accepting my past trauma alongside the recent PTSD from witnessing my brother's passing—grief has demanded its huge space. The suffering of loss is largely involuntary. I found myself asking "how can I be friends with grief in a healthy way and incorporate this journey into my life?"
A note – November 2025
I'm now in counselling and processing my brother's suicide, past relationship breakup, and earlier trauma. Everything I'm learning here strengthens my current transition, external relationships with others and myself, and entrepreneurship journey. This site is where I'll share reflections when ready—no schedule, no pressure. If this resonates, you're welcome here.
What I'm doing now
Healing & writing: Occasional posts here when thoughts surface.
Aviation work: Building Pilot Prep Guides (pilotprepguides.tech) to help aspiring pilots.
Both support my own flight training goals and family reunion in the UK.